


Alone Is What Protects Me

by storytellerof221b



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bondage, Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 15:28:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20028082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storytellerof221b/pseuds/storytellerof221b
Summary: Sherlock suffers at a crime-scene and fights back. Greg is over-reacting and Sherlock is hurt. He fleds the scene and complains to John. Can John make it better?





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock suffers at a crime-scene and fights back. Greg is over-reacting and Sherlock is hurt. He fleds the scene and complains to John. Can John make it better?

„Get the fuck off my crime-scene!“ Lestrade yelled at Sherlock. He had lost his calm with him after he had insulted every single member of his team, even pushed some out of the way and finally made some sexual remarks about Donovan and Anderson smirking all the time.  
And when he didn’t want to listen Lestrade threw his paper-mug at him still being half filled. The cold content spilled over his famous Belstaff and only then he looked up at Lestrade. Their eyes met and Greg could clearly see that he didn’t understand what happened and why.  
“Sherlock, you …” Just then Sherlock straightened his body and turned his back on him. He stomped away and only having already his hand on the cab’s door handle, he looked over his shoulder calling out:  
“I’ll text you about the murderer. After I have my coat dry-cleaned.” Without waiting for a reply, he climbed into the cab and rode off. The whole scene relaxed and Lestrade sighed shaking his head.  
Sherlock in the meantime still bit back his tears who threatened to fall out of his eyes. His lips were tightly pressed together into a thin line. He also was paler as usual and his hands were into fists on his lap.  
Arriving at Baker Street he just threw some money at the cabbie and dashed inside. He sincerely hoped John wasn’t in because he assumed that Greg would have called John to complain about him. But Sherlock was lucky, John wasn’t home yet. He checked his mobile. There were already messages, one from Greg and three from John. He ignored them all.  
Instead he threw all his clothes on his bed and prepared a bath because it always soothed him when he was upset. And he was upset. Upset and angry. Upset and angry and sad.  
He sat in the hot water, loads of foam around him, and shoved the rubber-duck through the water. He muttered to himself.  
“Only why is everybody so stupid? Even Lestrade could not see the obvious. Donovan only checked Anderson out. Why on earth would anybody fall for such an Ogre? And Anderson managed to destroy much needed evidence.” He pressed the duck under the surface and then hit the water several times soaking the tiles.  
After about half an hour he heard John coming home. The door was opened and then being closed again. His bag dropped on the hardwood and his steps wandered into the cluttered kitchen preparing tea. Sherlock smiled and relaxed. Then there was his voice.  
“Sherlock? Are you home?” Sherlock sighed quietly because it should be obvious.  
“Bathroom! Milk and two sugars for me!” He yelled. Outside John just shook his head but prepared a tea for him, too. While doing so he listened to the noises he made; the splashing water, his naked feet on the tiles and finally the water pouring into the sink.  
“Oh, Lord …” John muttered shifting on his feet. Naked feet. Naked skin. Naked Sherlock. John adjusted his pants before he carried the mugs over into their living-room where he placed them on the coffee-table. He sat in his armchair and just waited for him to appear.  
Soon enough he did just that clad in pyjamas and an old well-worn tee. His dressing-gown wasn’t closed and swayed behind him. He sauntered over and fell into his armchair taking his mug with him. John looked at him but Sherlock just sipped his tea.  
“Greg called me earlier.” Sherlock stared into his tea.  
“Did he ask about my coat?” Sherlock asked making John raise his brows.  
“No, he didn’t. He complained about you. Again.” John stated.  
“He has no reason to. I was just telling the truth. I even found out who the murderer is. Plus, he was the one throwing his still filled mug at me and soiling my coat.” Now a small smile appeared on John’s face.  
“Yes, he told me that, too. He has just lost his temper with you. He told me you were just horrible to everyone out there, even Greg himself.”  
“They were horrible to me, too. Do I complain?” Now he looked up at John and their eyes met.  
“No, you don’t. You react in a non-friendly way.” Sherlock snorted.  
“What am I supposed to do? Bear their remarks about my persona? Be the victim?” He asked.  
“What?” John sounded surprised. Sherlock just looked at him.  
“Remarks? Victim? Care to explain, please.” John quietly asked. Sherlock kept looking into his tea.  
“They aren’t nice to me. They are giving me names behind my back. They are jealous because I know. I always know.” His lips were pressed together again.  
“Does Greg know? Is he giving you names, too?” Sherlock just shrugged.  
“Greg doesn’t tell them to stop.”  
“So, your behaviour is just self-defence then?” John asked some more and now Sherlock barely nodded.  
“It makes me always so angry. You have no idea, John. Really, you don’t.” John thought he sounded so very sad and he didn’t like that.  
“Would you like me to talk to Greg about it?” John offered. It made Sherlock look up.  
“Why would you do that?” Now it was John who just stared into his tea.  
“I would talk to Greg because I want him to understand. And because I don’t want you sad.” Sherlock was surprised.  
“Oh …” He couldn’t say more. Then an idea exploded inside his brain.  
“You know, you could come with me. Your expertise might be helpful, too.” He leaned forward all excited.  
“What would I do there with you?” Only now their eyes met again.  
“You would help me solving crimes. And you would protect me.” Sherlock smiled a little bit.  
“Somehow, I like that idea, both of them in fact. But you do know you really don’t need protection, don’t you?”  
“But I do! Imagine, what if the coffee had been still hot? I could have been burnt in the face!” John thought about it for some seconds but then decided to not argue about it.  
“So, you would like my medical expertise on both the victim and yourself?” John grinned a bit but Sherlock just nodded.  
“Exactly! I also need you to shield me from all the stupid.” He was dead serious.  
“I see. If I ever hear them giving you names behind your back or even directly I will be talking to them very seriously. You can count on that, Sherlock.” John looked at him.  
“I do, John.” Sherlock was relaxed now and felt much better. Instead John was worried now. What would Greg say about him being on crime scenes? He decided to text him later when he was in bed.  
Later that evening when John went upstairs to finally sleep, he found a piece of expensive chocolate on his pillow. Attached to it was a note saying “Thank you.” Not more and not more was needed. John sat down. He was rather moved because he knew Sherlock wasn’t really good with these things.  
He looked at the chocolate and smiled.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is behaving and gets a treat for dinner.

Several days passed until the next dead body was found by the Thames. It was the first time for John to be Sherlock’s company. Both of them were excited but behaved rather cool.  
Donovan raised her brows when seeing John enter the scene but didn’t comment. Anderson sneered at Sherlock when said one passed by. John stopped in front of him and stared him down. Even though he was smaller than Anderson he looked threatening forcing Anderson a step back. Only then he followed Sherlock who talked to Greg.  
“No, it’s fine with me bringing John along.” Greg just said when John stepped up.  
“Greg, hallo. Good to see you.” They shook hands and Sherlock looked impatient.  
“Just go, you are free to roam, Sherlock.” Greg told him and Sherlock sauntered off. After three steps he stopped and turned around.  
“Come along, John!” He moved on and John shrugged following him. Greg grinned and shook his head. He wondered if this could work.  
But work it did. Sherlock’s deductions bounced back off John who listened and commented. And even though Sherlock sometimes raised his brows and muttered because of them he was very pleased.  
“I like him like this.” John thought and smiled watching Sherlock all happy. Greg watched both of them.  
Suddenly Sherlock stood in front of John and looked at him.  
“John? What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?” John looked up and right into his worried eyes. He was a bit too close for comfort.  
“What? No! I am fine. Why?” Sherlock kept staring and John shifted on his feet.  
“You weren’t reacting. I was asking you a question.” John cleared his throat.  
“I am sorry. What were you asking?” He dryly swallowed and licked his lips. Sherlock kept staring.  
“I was asking you if you want to go out for dinner to Angelo?” He almost looked hopeful. John smiled.  
“Yes!” It was John’s whole answer. Sherlock returned the smile for just a second and just turned around.  
“Let’s then.” John followed him and they took a cab over. Again, they were seated at the table by the window and again Angelo brought a candle to make it more romantic. They chose from the menu and sipped their wine. Suddenly Sherlock leaned forward looking at John.  
“I think it worked, didn’t it?” John nodded.  
“Yes, I think so, too. Anderson is a moron, you are right. The way he works, well. I wonder why Greg doesn’t do anything about him.”  
“Because Sally wants him there. And he needs her. She is good on the job; I give her that.”  
“Really?” Sherlock nodded.  
“Yes, she is a good detective. Sometimes she took over when Greg was sick or on holiday. Of course, she wouldn’t let me on the job then but I kept an eye on her and the crimes.”  
“I see.” They drank some more and waited for their dinner to arrive. Sherlock looked at his plate and sighed. John leaned in a bit closer.  
“Come on, Sherlock. This was your suggestion. Eat something, please?” Slowly he took the fork and spoon and swirled through the spaghetti. John just wordlessly put loads of parmesan on top of Sherlock’s food. Sherlock looked up and smiled.  
“So, you do observe.” He started to eat.  
“Sometimes?” John shrugged. Sherlock ended up with an empty plate and John ordered a drink. Then Sherlock wanted dessert and even ate it. John was fairly surprised but pleased.  
Back at home Sherlock fell on the sofa and groaned.  
“I feel like a goose at Christmas. I am stuffed.” He rubbed over his non-existing stomach. John grinned. Then he felt hot because he thought of something else being stuffed. He cleared his throat.  
“But you liked it.” Sherlock nodded.  
“Yes, I did. It was nice. It felt good.”  
“Let’s have another drink.” John poured whiskey in two tumblers and sat beside Sherlock on the sofa.  
“You know, I liked it a lot. I also liked threatening Anderson. He really is a moron.” Sherlock just clinked their glasses together and then finished his drink in one go.  
“I am glad you are here, John.” John looked up at him.  
“So am I.” They looked at each other and both men smiled.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft points the way for his darling little brother.

Weeks passed by and the mood around Sherlock was different. Greg was glad about the fact that John kept coming to crime scenes and made Sherlock behave. He would never say so, of course.  
John had even reduced his working hours at the hospital because of his work with Sherlock. He had come to like it a lot.  
He had also come to like Sherlock a lot more. Only he didn’t show. He just enjoyed spending so many hours with him.  
Sherlock also had come down a lot. He wasn’t aggressive toward others anymore and fully relied on John on helping him with these human interactions. He liked having him around and even looked for him being close sometimes.  
One day he was having breakfast with his brother Mycroft. They simply looked at each other until Mycroft spoke up.  
“How long do you want to wait?” Sherlock looked clueless.  
“Wait for what?” Mycroft sighed.  
“Wait for John. It is obvious. At least to me it is.” Sherlock looked helpless now.  
“I don’t understand.” Mycroft leaned closer towards his brother.  
“I believe you like John a lot. Maybe you even consider him a companion?”  
“Well, of course I do like John a lot. I let him move in with me, he works with me.”  
“He lives with you.” Sherlock nodded.  
“Yes, he does. He cares …” Only then he seemed to get it and his eyes widened.  
“Oh …” He leant back into the armchair and took another buttered roll.  
“Yes, oh. What do you feel, brother-mine?” Sherlock bit his lip.  
“I like him around. I miss him when he is gone.” He admitted finally.  
“Are you jealous when he is dating women, Sherlock?” He shook his head.  
“No, it’s not about the women he dates. It’s just, he isn’t home and takes care.”  
“So, you don’t want him in your bed?” Mycroft asked making his younger sibling blush furiously.  
“Myc, you know I never had someone in my bed. I never …” He stood and started to pace.  
“Of course, I know. That’s why I thought John would be the one, you know?” He kept watching him.  
“I just don’t know …” Mycroft seriously looked at him.  
“From what I was able to watch over CCTV I believe that John is very much attracted to you, Sherlock. And for once you don’t see. On crime-scenes he is totally in protection mode around you.” Sherlock just looked at him.  
“He is constantly worried about me. He tells me to eat more, sleep more and behave better.” Sherlock smiled a little bit.  
“Does he dish out punishments?” Mycroft looked all innocent but grinned rather smugly when his younger brother blushed again.  
“No, he doesn’t. I am not into your weird sex-games, Mycroft!” Said one chuckled and shook his head.  
“I believe you should try. Seduce him. It will work prettily.”  
“Why would I want to have sex with John? He is the perfect companion just the way he is now.”  
“I advise to try it once. Trust me when I am telling you, he will never leave you again and you will never let him go.” Sherlock leaned back in his brother’s armchair and looked thoughtful.  
“I will consider it.” Mycroft nodded rather pleased. He knew he had made him curious. He handed over a piece of paper.  
“Here, check out these sites before you start anything.” Sherlock took it and put it into his coat-pocket.  
“OK.” He said no more. He had some more coffee though. When standing up he looked at his brother.  
“Won’t you give me a condom for protection?” He grinned and made Mycroft grin, too. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a black one.  
“There you are. Have fun!” Sherlock took it and turned it around between his fingers.  
“Chocolate? Really, brother-dear.” He shook his head and stuck it into his coat-pocket, too. And forgot about it.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Curiosity kills the cat, or John in this case. They talk and they get close. Too close?

When Sherlock came home that day, he found John cooking. He had carefully re-arranged his on-going experiments and was working between everything. He hadn’t heard him coming and Sherlock took the opportunity to watch him for a while.  
Obviously, he had been shopping. Sherlock scanned the offerings and licked his lips. Suddenly John turned around.  
“Oh, you are home. I am cooking.” Sherlock looked at him. He could see that, thank you very much. But he didn’t say so. Instead he sauntered closer and looked again.  
“What’s up, doc?” John grinned. He liked Sherlock using references to weird cartoons. It was rare.  
“Rice and lamb and vegetable. You like?” Sherlock quickly nodded.  
“Very much so. Add some cream and martini, if you please?” With these words he flung his coat over a kitchen-chair and disappeared into the bath. His coat slowly dropped on the floor and it made John sigh. He wiped his hands clean and picked it up. He caught it sideways and Sherlock’s belongings fell out of the pocket. John sighed again and first hung up the coat and then got down on his knees to collect everything.  
“What on earth are you carrying around? Dear me …” John shook his head while picking up his wallet, phone, coins, a lolly-pop, chewing-gum, a small piece of paper and a condom.  
“What the fuck?” John whispered and turned it between his fingers. He looked at it.  
“Chocolate?” It made him grin. Then he wondered. He had had no idea. Who was it? Whom was Sherlock dating? Should he ask? Would he even tell? Then John just shrugged and stuffed everything back except for the condom into his pockets. Only then he read the paper. These were sites he knew, too, but it wasn’t his handwriting. It looked like a man’s. John chewed his lips.  
But then he thought again. Sherlock would know that his things had been touched. He always knew. So, he could ask him. No, he had to ask him. Otherwise Sherlock would just assume something wasn’t right.  
Plus, John was very, very curious.  
While Sherlock was rummaging inside their bath John set up the table. Their meal was quietly simmering and he opened a bottle of wine.  
“What’s the occasion?” Suddenly Sherlock stood by his side and John almost dropped the bottle. He had been thinking too much and hadn’t heard him coming outside.  
“What? Nothing. Us.” He stuttered and finally just turned around getting the pan. Sherlock looked confused but finally just sat down. If something was wrong John would tell him. He always did.  
“I hope you like it, Sherlock. Please take some.” He handed him the large spoon and Sherlock snatched it. He licked his lips looking at John.  
“It smells delicious, John.” John was glued to his moist lips but soon cast his eyes. He was handed back the spoon and filled his plate, too. They ate in silence but it was a good silence. At least for Sherlock it was. John kept wondering about how to approach the subject of the chocolate condom. Suddenly he had to giggle. It almost sounded like a headline for one of his blog-entries. A new case called “The Mystery of The Missing Chocolate Condom”. He chuckled and looked up again. His eyes met Sherlock’s.  
“What’s wrong? What’s so funny? John?” John shook his head.  
“Nothing, really. I am sorry. It’s just; the contents of your coat-pockets spilled when it fell off the chair. I picked it up and found this.” He took it from his own pocket now and placed it in the middle of the table. Sherlock stared down and swallowed.  
“Why do you think this funny, John?” It didn’t sound amused.  
“It’s not. I just wondered, I mean, I …” John swallowed and didn’t know what to say.  
“So?” Still Sherlock didn’t look at him and John felt bad suddenly.  
“Listen, mate, I am very sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude to you. It was just so unexpected. I don’t know what to say.” Only now Sherlock looked up again. His earlobes had become red and he felt a bit hot underneath his shirt.  
“Mycroft gave it to me.” John stared at him. He hadn’t expected that.  
“What? Why did your brother give you a condom?” Sherlock picked into his food to not have to look at John.  
“We talked. He assumed something. He gave it to me.” Sherlock’s voice became quieter by the second.  
“What did you talk about?” John didn’t think. He just asked. Had Sherlock asked for advice?  
“Why do you need to know why I would need a condom, John?” Very quietly spoken and it made John uncomfortable.  
“I probably don’t. Again, I am sorry.” John took his empty plate and stood. Sherlock’s eyes burnt holes into his back. Very slowly he rinsed the plate and put it into the dishwasher.  
“My brother has a dirty fantasy, John.” Again, he stood close to John who hadn’t noticed him. He turned around and couldn’t move further back because he bumped against the dishwasher already.  
“Mycroft?” Somehow it made him grin and it put a grin back on Sherlock’s face, too.  
“Care to explain?” John asked and Sherlock sighed. But he took the wine and their glasses into the living-room clearly expecting John to follow. They sat down.  
“Mycroft did notice that we became close. You are my flatmate and solve crimes with me. We are spending more time together. He said you are in a protective mode around me all the time. He asked me if I was jealous when you are out dating women.” He cleared his throat and sipped some wine.  
“And?” John dared to ask.  
“And what?” Sherlock demanded to know making John look up and right into his eyes.  
“Are you jealous?” Sherlock blushed a rosy shade that covered his high cheekbones. John loved the sight.  
“What if?” Sherlock countered not wanting to answer that question.  
“Could you just answer my question, please?” John just quietly asked.  
“This is embarrassing.” He whispered and the shade intensified.  
“Please? I promise I won’t laugh or do anything you wouldn’t like.” John crept a bit closer and invaded Sherlock’s personal space.  
“Yes.” Sherlock finally admitted and surprised John.  
“Are you telling me right now that you are jealous when I am dating women?” Sherlock slowly nodded.  
“Yes. I am glad you never brought them home to shag them upstairs.” John coughed.  
“I haven’t shagged anyone for quite some time now.” The statement made Sherlock look up.  
“Really? Why? Are you sick?” Sherlock asked.  
“No, I am not sick. It’s just, it doesn’t feel right with you around.” John now openly stared at Sherlock.  
“You think it’s not appropriate to shag them in here because I am living here, too, and have no one to shag?”  
“No, I mean that I can’t think of shagging someone else. I am thinking of shagging …” There John stopped and chewed his lips. Sherlock just looked at him.  
“You are thinking of shagging whom?” Sherlock finally asked when John didn’t continue.  
“You.” John drank the rest of his wine. When he placed his glass back down on the table Sherlock downed his, too.  
“John, I …” But John quickly interrupted him.  
“I know. You are married to your work. I do understand.” But Sherlock shook his head.  
“No, I meant why would you want to shag me? Why would anyone?” Now John’s eyes became big.  
“Why? Jesus, Sherlock! You do have a mirror, don’t you?” John asked.  
“You know I do, John.” John sat up straight deciding to be honest with him.  
“I am bi-sexual. And you are the most beautiful man I have ever met. Whenever you run around half naked in here or only barefoot, I have feelings for you. No, wrong. I always have feelings for you. I want you.”  
“You have feelings for me or you just want to fuck me?” John kept holding his eyes.  
“I have feelings for you and I want to fuck you senseless.” It brought a small smile up on Sherlock’s lips.  
“That’s tremendously ambitious of you, fucking me senseless.” He started to toy with the condom.  
“I think I can manage.” John slowly crept closer and Sherlock tensed. John noticed and sat back again.  
“Sorry. What do you want, Sherlock?” Sherlock just shrugged.  
“I have no idea what I want or what I like.” John didn’t understand.  
“Care to explain?” Sherlock shrugged again looking a bit helpless now.  
“Well, I have no idea what I want or what I like because no one ever fucked me senseless. I am still a virgin, John. How do you like to fuck?” Sherlock poured more wine but John stood muttering about a real drink. He poured them right away and brought one for Sherlock, too.  
“I don’t want to scare you away, mate.” This statement made Sherlock grin.  
“You know that’s not possible.” John chuckled.  
“Yes, I know that; but this is different. Us is different. What I like is different.” John sounded serious.  
“Not boring then?” Sherlock leaned closer again.  
“Tell me!” He demanded downing his drink.  
“Perhaps I should show you?” John picked up his computer from the hardwood and opened the lid.  
“You filmed yourself while fucking someone?” Sherlock’s eyes were wide open and John turned around.  
“What? No! I didn’t! I want to show you pages of what I like. I also read the paper your brother gave you. He recommends the same sites.” He cleared his throat.  
“Oh, I see.” Somehow it sounded a bit disappointed. John typed some URL into his browser-window and then very seriously looked at Sherlock.  
“Not boring.” He handed over his computer and Sherlock placed it on his lap. Then John was able to watch him stare at the screen for several minutes while he manoeuvred over the sites. Finally, he leaned back and looked at John. The colour on his cheekbones was clearly red and so were his earlobes and parts of his neck. He shifted on the sofa.  
“Not boring.” Even his voice was a bit rough. He wanted to drink more but his tumbler was empty. John filled it up again.  
“So?” John asked taking the computer back.  
“You are doing these things to people? Or people do these things to you?” John smugly smiled.  
“Make a good deduction, Sherlock.” Sherlock cast his eyes.  
“Oh. Well then.” He drank and looked up again.  
“So, when you look at me you want to tether me to my bed, gag me and shove something up my arse?” Now it was John’s turn to blush and he did furiously so.  
“Not like this. I want to make love to you. Later I would like to do other things. But at first …” There John stopped talking and his voice had become quieter and quieter. Sherlock looked at him.  
“I know I am stupid. Just forget everything.” Abruptly John stood and turned away. But Sherlock was faster. He grabbed John’s belt and held him back.  
“No! Don’t go now, John, please?” John was forced backwards and almost stumbled.  
“Let go of me!” He hissed and glared down. Sherlock’s eyes widened and he swallowed. He quickly let go as if his hand was burnt.  
They kept staring at each other until Sherlock cast his eyes saying:  
“I liked what you said.” John relaxed and dared to reach out. He placed his palm on his shoulder.  
“You would like me making love to you?” Still he felt Sherlock being tense but he didn’t let go now.  
“Yes.” He looked up again and John saw his sweaty forehead. He knew he had to take over. He lowered his head.  
“I want to kiss you. May I kiss you?” Sherlock just nodded. John used his finger to tilt his head up a bit. Slowly he brought his lips down to Sherlock’s plush ones. His heartbeat started to race and his pulse was hammering.  
When their lips touched it was like an explosion in his brain. Sherlock’s lips were so soft and wonderful, so plush and just taking, it was simply beautiful. John’s grip tightened and he pressed him back against the back of the sofa.  
And Sherlock let go. He didn’t struggle. When John poked with his tongue against his still closed lips he opened up and accepted it. John touched his teeth and gum and explored everything in a gentle rhythm.  
When he sucked hard on Sherlock’s tongue, he elicited a noise he had never heard before. He opened his eyes and let go. Sherlock also opened his eyes and his mouth stood open. He was panting a bit.  
“Why do you stop? Is it not good? Am I not good?” John just stared for a few seconds and then very gently took his hand.  
“No, you stupid. Don’t you ever say such nonsense again, do you hear me?” And he kissed his knuckles one by one making him blush again.  
“I liked it. It felt good.” Sherlock almost stuttered not knowing how to describe the emotions that had taken over. John’s eyes moved south and saw his tented trousers. He smiled.  
“So, I see.” Sherlock blushed and pulled a pillow over his crotch with his free hand. John grinned, snatched the pillow and threw it over his shoulder.  
“I would like to see it.” Now Sherlock’s face was all red.  
“You want to see my penis? Here?” Sherlock asked almost sounding shocked. John shrugged.  
“Yes, why not? No one is here but us. But we could move into one of our bedrooms, if you wish?” But he shook his head.  
“No, it’s just; I don’t know what it is.” Slowly his hand moved down to his zip.  
“You know I have seen it before.” John stated to make it easier for Sherlock.  
“That was different. You only caught a tiny glimpse.” He opened his trousers and John saw black, silken boxers. Wet, black, silken boxers. Sherlock reached inside and pulled it out. John went down on his knees and looked at it. It was as pale as the rest of Sherlock. It was long and rather thick.  
“May I?” John asked reaching out for it already. Sherlock swallowed, nodded and let go. He leaned back into the sofa and watched John taking his cock. First, he weighed it in his palm and then he sniffed it. Very carefully his fingers came around it and he started to press and stroke. Sherlock groaned and closed his eyes.  
“Look at me, please?” Sherlock opened his eyes and looked at John. He licked his lips.  
“This is me giving you pleasure. Talk to me. What do you feel? Do you like it?” Sherlock hung helpless in the cushions.  
“I feel good. I feel your calloused fingertips on my tender flesh. You are so gentle with me. It’s not what I expected.” He sucked in his breath when John moved his finger over the tip and spread cum over it.  
“But you like it?” John kept moving.  
“Yes.” John hummed and used his other hand to gather up some cum. He licked it off his finger and closed his eyes.  
“What does it taste like?” John couldn’t believe the words. Had Sherlock never tried this? He took some more and held up his finger to his lips.  
“See for yourself.” And Sherlock sucked his finger into his mouth and his tongue moved around it. John’s prick twitched.  
“It tastes almost like tea, alcohol and some chemistry.” John smiled and nodded.  
“That’s what I thought.” Sherlock looked at John and tilted his head.  
“This scenario must be boring for you. Normally you do this differently. Describe it to me, John. What would you normally do?” John looked up at him.  
“First of all, I won’t be kneeling.” And he let go of his cock standing up. Sherlock looked disappointed but didn’t complain. John climbed on the sofa and moved Sherlock on his back. He straddled him and sat on his thighs.  
Sherlock was sweating but didn’t stop him. He was paler than normal though and John slowed down a bit. Instead he touched his cock again and slowly moved his fingers over it until he saw him relax.  
“Normally I would have tied you up for this; probably also gagged you.” Sherlock licked his lips.  
“How?” Sherlock’s voice was all rough and his body was tense but his pupils were dilated. John nonchalantly shrugged.  
“Well, I would tie your wrists over your head to your headboard so your arms will be all stretched out. I will use a rope for that. I will also use a rope around your ankles which will be tied to your bed with your legs spread wide. I will put your soiled silky boxers into your mouth and secure it with parts of your shirt which I would have torn apart by then. And whatever I will do to you, you could scream your lungs out because it wouldn’t matter.”  
John could feel Sherlock’s cock twitch between his fingers and he was leaking. John was fairly surprised.  
“Now look at you; you became all excited.” He teased pressing his thumb into the slit making him yell out loud and buck up. Now Sherlock looked shocked and leant up on his elbows. For a few seconds he held himself up but then his head fell back and he groaned falling back.  
“Oh, I forgot to tell you something. I expect you to beg. You will have to beg me for this, for touching you and for letting you come. Only sometimes I just won’t. I would torment you and tease you for hours. And if you have been misbehaving, I might even give you a proper spanking. So, what do you think?” John evilly twisted his wrist making him cry out again.  
“Oh God! Yes! I want it, I want you! Please, John, please!”  
“Tell me exactly what you want, Sherlock.” John kept stroking his prick.  
“I am in pain, John. I don’t understand. It feels like my penis is going to explode any minute. Please do something?” And John just lowered his head and sucked Sherlock’s prick. Sherlock groaned and shook. John had to hold him down. His hips moved but John kept holding him down. Sherlock’s fingers fisted the cushions.  
John sucked and licked and swallowed. It didn’t take long until Sherlock came screaming. John took everything and finally let go with a wet pop. He looked up and saw a completely dishevelled Sherlock looking at him. There were tears in his eyes and he slowly reached out for him.  
John just pulled him into his arms and held him. His hands moved over his still clad back.  
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Please don’t cry.” He whispered roughly and listened to Sherlock sobbing. He felt the tears falling on his shirt and he just let him.  
Some minutes passed and still Sherlock didn’t speak up. John was a bit frightened by now. Had he really hurt him? What had he done to him that made him cry so hard? He didn’t ask though but let him do as he liked. He waited him out.  
“Let go of me, please.” John did that at once and sat on the other side of the sofa. Slowly Sherlock stood. His face had red dots and was blotchy. His eyes were red and still swimming in tears. He swayed on the spot for a second but then straightened up. And he disappeared into their bath without saying anything more.  
John chewed his lips while listening to the water running. The door to Sherlock’s bedroom closed and the rustling of the sheets was a clear announcement to be left alone.  
John sighed. He needed to talk to him but he also knew it wasn’t possible now. He topped up his tumbler and drank while listening to some music quietly upstairs in his room. He worried about Sherlock. But he had no idea what to do now.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock calls his brother for advice. He rarely does but he can't destroy the relationship with John. Was it already too late to talk to John and explain?

Sherlock had fled John. He was absolutely confused. What John had given to him had been perfect and wonderful. He had enjoyed it a lot. But it had become too much. He had been crying and he felt weird.  
He showered for a long time and gingerly touched his penis. It was still very sensitive and Sherlock managed to come again which confused him only more. He dressed into warm pyjamas and a long-sleeved tee and crawled under the blanket.  
He still could hear John who moved around in the flat but finally went upstairs. Sherlock relaxed and closed his eyes. He had feared that John would knock at his door and wanted to talk to him. But he couldn’t answer his questions because he didn’t know what had happened to him.  
He was wide awake. Finally, he took his mobile in the middle of the night and called his brother. He caught him awake, too.  
“Brother-dear, what is it at this hour?” Sherlock just breathed for a few seconds and then cleared his throat.  
“John did, John and I had; it was nice. No, it was wonderful and perfect. But now, I don’t know. I feel weird.” Mycroft quietly chuckled.  
“You are at a loss of words, Sherlock. I admire John for achieving that. Tell me all about it.”  
“Please don’t mock me. This is serious.” Mycroft cleared his throat.  
“I am sorry, little brother. Now go on and tell me.” His voice had become soft and Sherlock sighed huddling under the sheets. He told him what happened and Mycroft listened. And when Sherlock was done, he hummed.  
“So why did you cry?” Mycroft asked.  
“I was overwhelmed with emotions. It was so much; it was so good and John was so gentle with me. I wasn’t able to handle this; the way he touched me and what he said to me.” Sherlock stopped again.  
“But you liked it. You would like to repeat it. And you want to try more with him. Try out the things he only talked about. Am I right?” Sherlock swallowed.  
“Yes.” Only that one word but it said everything.  
“So why did you hide?”  
“I could not cope.”  
“I believe John feels bad right now and wonders what he has done to you.”  
“But it was obvious that I liked it.” Sherlock could hear his brother sigh out.  
“Yes, I bet he saw that, but he also saw you leave without an explanation. And you know John, don’t you?”  
“But what am I supposed to do now?” Sherlock asked.  
“Are you sure you want more?” Mycroft carefully asked.  
“Yes, I want him.” Mycroft hummed when hearing his answer.  
“Then I advise you to talk to him. Go right now. I bet he is awake and worries about you.”  
“I didn’t mean to hurt him.” Sherlock said quietly.  
“Don’t tell me, Sherlock.” Sherlock smiled and said his good-byes. They hung up and he crept out of his bed. He opened his door and stood in the dark room. He listened but couldn’t hear anything. Slowly he walked upstairs and stood in front of John’s room. He listened again and was able to hear some music, very quiet. He lifted up his hand and carefully knocked on his door.  
Then he heard some rustling and steps on the hardwood. He could hear him stumble in his hurry and he ripped open the door.  
“Sherlock …” John almost exhaled the name. Sherlock just stood there and didn’t know what was expected of him now. But John smiled and reached out for him.  
“Please, come inside.” And Sherlock made the move and felt much better. He licked over his lips looking at John.  
“I am sorry. I was confused. I didn’t mean to anger you.” At once John pulled him into his embrace and carefully hugged him.  
“You didn’t anger me, Sherlock. You just made me worry about you. I thought I might have hurt you somehow. But now I am glad you came up to me.” A broad smile was on John’s face and his eyes shone in the semi-darkness of his room.  
“Then we are good?” Sherlock dared to ask finally. John nodded at once.  
“Absolutely. We are good.” Only then Sherlock lifted up his long arms and slung them around John’s broad frame. He placed his face on John’s good shoulder and closed his eyes. John just held him and stroked over his back.  
“You are not going to cry again, are you?” John whispered and it made Sherlock chuckle. He straightened up and looked at John.  
“No, I just want to be with you.” Then he looked at John’s bed. John looked at Sherlock.  
“Come on, then. Let’s snuggle.” John smiled but Sherlock raised his brows. And then he shook his head.  
“No, John. Your bed is too small for both of us. Come downstairs and join me.” He turned around looking over his shoulder. He saw John standing there and held up his hand.  
“Please?” John took his hand and let himself be pulled downstairs. They entered Sherlock’s bedroom and Sherlock at once climbed back under the blanket. But he held it up for John to join him.  
John hesitated for just a second but then crawled under the blanket. It was warm and felt good on his skin. The quality was outstanding and he closed his eyes in delight.  
“One hundred percent Egyptian cotton.” John quietly laughed and turned around to face Sherlock.  
“It’s nice, very much so. And so are you.” He placed his arm around his waist and pulled him close so their bodies touched under the blanket. Sherlock just looked at him.  
“This really is nice. You are like a hot bottle.” Coming from Sherlock that was quite the compliment. John laughed.  
“Thank you, dear. I like it, too. Get comfy now.” John moved a bit until his head was stuck under Sherlock’s arm and his nose touched his chest. Sherlock’s hand moved up and rested on his lower back. He spread his fingers and his fingertips touched his cheeks.  
John listened to Sherlock’s heartbeat and it was the most wonderful beat he had ever heard. He fell asleep together with Sherlock who had been concentrated on how John relaxed beside him.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they are doing it!

The next morning John woke because Sherlock’s hair was spread over his face and it tickled his nose. He also wasn’t able to see through the mass of dark curls. He blew into them to free his face.  
Sherlock made some noises and rolled off him. He also turned his back on him being completely unaware of his presence. John came up on his elbow and smiled. He gently pecked a kiss on his nape eliciting a sigh. Then he rolled out of bed and went into the bath. He used the loo and brushed his teeth.  
Afterwards he started making breakfast. He brewed coffee and toasted some slices. He made dough for pancakes and prepared scrambled eggs. He checked on Sherlock again but he was still fast asleep. And he didn’t want to wake him because of yesterday’s events which had been exhausting for him.  
He went upstairs to get his clothes and had a shower. He checked the time because he had a shift coming up. He decided to let him sleep and have breakfast alone. But he prepared some toast, put some pancakes in the oven and left him eggs. He poured fresh coffee in a thermos and wrote him a note.  
***  
Sherlock slowly woke and stretched his long limbs. He remembered having spoken to John and he reached out with his eyes still closed. But the place by his side was empty. He opened his eyes and recognised the sheets were cold already. John was gone.  
He quickly got up and dashed into the kitchen where he found the note on the table. It said:  
_“Dear Sherlock, I had to leave for my shift. Please have some breakfast I prepared for you. Love, John.”_  
Sherlock dumbly stared at the piece of paper and then carried it back into his bedroom to safely store it away. Only after several minutes he put on socks and his dressing-gown. He poured coffee and ate everything John had prepared. While enjoying his last coffee his mobile rang. He stood and picked it up. Mycroft was calling.  
“Myc, good morning.” He snorted.  
“It’s noon already, brother-dear. How are you?” Sherlock quietly laughed.  
“I am perfectly fine. I did what you suggested and talked to John last night. He was glad I came up to him. We ended up in my bedroom and slept. I didn’t notice him leave for work but he made me breakfast. I am very happy now.”  
“That sounds good to me, Sherlock. You have done very well. I am happy for you.”  
“Thank you, Myc. I mean it.”  
“I know.” He sighed and Sherlock sensed some more coming up.  
“What else do you want?” Sherlock asked.  
“I have a case for you. It’s very sensitive and needs to be kept a secret. So, you can’t talk to DI Lestrade or even John about it. You might need to leave London for a few days.”  
“Did a spy of yours go on a rampage and took some secret files with him?” Sherlock became excited.  
“No, brother-dear. A spy of mine has disappeared, we got only parts of him back and the secret files weren’t among the parts. I need to know who took and killed him and of course the files. Can you do it?” Sherlock snorted.  
“Please!” Sherlock was actually able to hear the nod his brother gave.  
“Just provide me with the details and I’ll be off doing your leg-work.” Sherlock even chuckled.  
“I’ll mail you the details.” Sherlock’s voice had softened again and his brother knew he would be on it like a hunting-dog. Sherlock knew about John’s shift and worked on the case until he came home. Only then he closed up everything and already knew by then he really would have to leave England for several days. Now he had to think of something because John mustn’t know. He needed to lie to him which he didn’t like at all. At the end he decided to tell him half the truth. John was a soldier and a man of honour. He would understand.  
Sherlock heard John coming upstairs. He almost hopped up the stairs and into their flat all happy. Sherlock turned around when the door was opened. His face lightened up.  
“John.” He smiled but didn’t approach. He didn’t know what was appropriate so he waited what John was doing.  
“Sherlock, you are home.” He dropped his bag and hurried up to him. He hugged him and pulled him down for a kiss. It ended up in a fierce snogging session which left Sherlock breathless on the spot.  
“I just wanted to say you were stating the obvious, John.” Sherlock still breathed open-mouthed.  
“I know. I don’t care. I am just happy.” John answered and picked up his bag.  
“Have you had dinner already?” Sherlock shook his head.  
“No, of course not. I was busy. Would you like take-away?” He asked.  
“God, yes. I am starving.” Sherlock sighed but only inwardly.  
“Chinese?” John nodded.  
“Perfect. I’ll just freshen up a bit.” In the meantime, Sherlock ordered their food and thought about what to tell John. He even set up their table. Right when he placed everything on it John was back and sat down. They started to eat and Sherlock picked into his food again.  
“What would you like to tell me and don’t know how?” John just asked making him look up.  
“I am sorry, John. We have just had something so wonderful and now I have to go away for a few days.”  
“What? Why?” John looked irritated and Sherlock felt actually bad.  
“Mycroft asked me to do a job. I can’t tell you anything, John. I am very sorry. I really don’t want to leave you but I promised my brother. It’s important and he can’t trust anyone with it.” He didn’t look at John. John was disappointed but he understood.  
“I will miss you; you know?” He said forcefully picking up some piece of lamb. Sherlock smiled at him.  
“And I will miss you more.” John looked up and their eyes met.  
“When will you be leaving?”  
“Tomorrow afternoon.”  
“Do you have to prepare lots of things or can we spend the time together?” Sherlock blushed at once.  
“No, I have prepared everything already. I am all yours.” He roughly whispered the last words.  
“Excellent!” John said munching his rice. Sherlock shifted on his chair clearly expecting John to do something. But when nothing happened, he started to eat again, too. John smiled.  
After dinner John poured drinks and ushered him to the sofa. He made him sit down and handed over his drink.  
“We need to talk about what we want, Sherlock.” Sherlock looked up.  
“Why do you need to talk? I already said I wanted what you showed me.”  
“I know that but we still need you to have a safeword.”  
“What for?” Sherlock asked being all clueless for once.  
“So, you can stop me if you are scared or hurt or feel bad.” Sherlock tilted his head.  
“But you said you wanted to gag me. So, what would I need a safeword for?” John seriously looked at him.  
“In case you are not able to speak you will just cross your fingers. I will always watch you.”  
“I know you would never hurt me, John.” Sherlock was dead serious. John kept smiling.  
“No, I won’t. But it might happen. It’s just precaution. It also makes me feel better.”  
“Well, OK then. What else do we need to talk about?”  
“I would like to explain again what awaits you later.”  
“Why later?” Sherlock interrupted him.  
“Because I won’t tie you up while you are having the sex for the first time, Sherlock.”  
“Oh. But why not?”  
“Because it’s not right and please stop interrupting me.”  
“Make me.” Sherlock challenged him and John suddenly knew Sherlock had surfed the internet some more. He slanted his eyes.  
“You sure?” He asked seriously.  
“Yes.” Sherlock swallowed and John stood.  
“Very well. Let’s clean this up and away first.” Sherlock just took everything on the table on his hands and carried it away. John saw everything crash only it didn’t. He wiped over the table and while Sherlock was rummaging in the kitchen and putting things into the dishwasher, he got some things out of his toy-box.  
Downstairs Sherlock was waiting already and shifted on the spot. Then he eyed the things John carried in his arms. He saw ropes, handcuffs - he knew about handcuffs already - and some more stuff.  
“Come here and turn your back on me.” Sherlock did as being told. John took his arm and closed the handcuffs around his wrists.  
“Kneel.” Sherlock twitched once but got down on his knees.  
“No!” John barked when he wanted to sit on his heels and he kept his position from before.  
“Good boy. Now stay.” He threw the rope on the sofa and took the bit. Only he decided against it. Instead he took some bondage-tape he had brought and wound it around Sherlock’s mouth. When he was done, he looked him up and down. He had an erection already and was red in the face.  
“Are you ready to listen to me?” Sherlock grunted a reply and nodded at the same time. John paced up and down in front of him.  
“OK, you still need to pick a safeword. For now, you know what to do if you are hurt. Show me.” Sherlock crossed his fingers and John was pleased.  
“That’s right. I already talked to you about some things I like. I also let you check parts of the sites I often visit. You obviously liked it and agreed to do these things with me or more let me do the things to you. I can see right now that you are aroused. You like this, being manhandled, tied up and gagged, waiting for my orders, waiting for me to do anything to you.” Sherlock kept nodding and making noises. He had started to sweat, too.  
“You get to learn a lesson this way, as well. Do not interrupt me. Ever. Understood?” Sherlock nodded and grunted.  
“Right now, you are well behaving and deserve a reward. Stand up, please.” Sherlock got up at once.  
“Spread your legs.” Sherlock did that, too. John stepped up and slowly opened his trousers. Sherlock didn’t move or made any noise at all. John looked around him but his fingers weren’t crossed. He pulled out his cock.  
“Oh, aren’t you such a slut! You have been leaking into your pants already!” Sherlock blushed a deeper shade of red.  
“But now I want something else.” He grinned and put Sherlock’s prick back and fastened his trousers again, too. Sherlock almost looked shocked and moved his hips.  
“No!” John said rather loud and pressed his fingers around his cock. He groaned and closed his eyes but stopped the moving. Only then John kept rubbing over his groin and also pressed down now and again.  
Sherlock shifted on the spot but tried not to move. John felt the hardness beneath his hand and knew he would come any second now. He moved up very close and whispered into Sherlock’s ear.  
“You will be coming into your pants right now. And you will stay right here soiled as you are.” Sherlock’s shoulders hunched and he groaned.  
John’s free hand opened his dress-shirt and moved beneath it. He teased his right nipple and now Sherlock shook and shivered making noises that made John very, very hard. He pinched one nipple and Sherlock yelled behind the tape. He also came into his pants.  
John grinned when he saw his face. It was disgusted and his trousers were sort of wet. He mumbled behind the tape but John shook his head.  
“No, they stay on.” He reached over and took something metal from the things he brought. He licked over his nipples and blew over them. Only then he attached the clamps making him whine and whimper but he didn’t cross his fingers. Instead he got another erection.  
He stood there with an open shirt and clamps screwed tight. His prick tented his trousers and he trembled.  
“Won’t you like to do something for me now?” John asked and Sherlock looked at him out of blown eyes. But he nodded.  
“That’s nice, my dear. Back on your knees you go!” He dropped down at once and John took off the bondage-tape and just dropped it. Sherlock coughed and John gently placed his palm on his head.  
“Now I will introduce you to my cock.” He opened his trousers and Sherlock licked his lips.  
“But I …” John held up a finger.  
“Do not interrupt me! And I know you have seen it before, so just shut up!” Sherlock did right that.  
“You surely remember what I did to you. Just try it now. Come over here and take it.” Sherlock eyed John’s prick and shuffled close. Now he could also smell him.  
He opened his mouth and tried to force himself on it but it was too thick. His jaw cracked.  
“Careful, don’t hurry through this. Take your time. Lick, suck and kiss. Go on.” Sherlock went for it again. And this time he just licked over and around the head, suckled it and pressed his tongue into the slit. He looked up to see if John liked what he did.  
“Yes, Sherlock, keep your eyes fixed on me. You are just perfect and so beautiful.” Sherlock made a choked noise but kept going. And he tried hard again. Finally, John’s thick head passed through his lips. Carefully he started to move his head a bit. John didn’t move at all even though it was hard for him to not just push into Sherlock and come right down his throat. He would do it later time come.  
Sherlock needed to swallow and had to cough. The shock and the vibrations around John’s cock were just a bit too much because Sherlock wasn’t able to stop. So, John groaned and shot his load into his mouth which made Sherlock cough even more. Spit and cum flew around and ran over his face and chin, his clothes and John’s. When he finally was able to stop, he quickly moved his head back and coughed again. He also belched loudly. His eyes watered and tears fell.  
But he still knelt straight up only he swayed a bit. John held him steady and waited him out. The first words Sherlock got out were:  
“I am sorry. I couldn’t do it right. I am stupid. Let me try again, please? I promise to make it better. Punish me if you like. But let me try again. Please!” John just carded through his hair and soothed him.  
“You were perfect. I came, you remember?” Sherlock looked up again.  
“Really?” He quietly asked.  
“Yes, really. And now this is over. Enough for now, Sherlock.” He took off the handcuffs and tenderly removed the clamps and helped him up.  
“Come on and sit on the sofa. I’ll get you something to drink.” Sherlock fell down and slumped against the back. His shirt was spread open and he looked debauched. John loved the sight. He handed him a glass of wine.  
“Are you hurt?” John seriously asked. Sherlock looked up and grinned a lopsided smile while gingerly touching his nipples.  
“My jaw does and so do my knees and nipples. I had no idea that they are wired south. It was amazing. It was both intense pain and lust. Desire. I wanted more. I loved it. You were great. You are great.” Then he drank some wine.  
“Let me see.” John’s finger carefully touched his jaw and everything else. He was a bit worried but everything was just fine. He went down on his knees between Sherlock’s legs again. He looked utterly surprised.  
“You are the most wonderful, the most beautiful person I have ever met. I promise to make your first time fantastic.” He leaned in and gently suckled his nipples. Sherlock moaned and closed his eyes. John took the glass away and held him tight by his hips. He kissed down south and stuck his tongue into his belly-button making him twitch and laugh. John stored that information away for later when he was tied up on his bed, helpless.  
Their eyes met again and John slowly stood holding on to his thighs.  
“Ready?” He quietly asked and Sherlock nodded. His eyes were still blown and he held out his hand. John pulled him up and walked into Sherlock’s bedroom where he slowly and carefully undressed him completely.  
John wanted to undress himself now but Sherlock held up his hands.  
“May I?” He asked and John lowered his hands again.  
“Sure, go ahead.” Sherlock clearly enjoyed what he was doing. Their clothes ended piled up on the hardwood.  
John moved him with his back to the bed and then pushed him down. He exhaled and laughed up at John who climbed right after and started to kiss him everywhere. His hands moved over his stretched-out body.  
“I need to prepare you, Sherlock. It might hurt a bit at first but it will be over soon enough.” Sherlock smiled.  
“I trust you, John. Go on.” John used only their combined cum and slicked his fingers.  
“Spread your legs, honey.” Sherlock did that and John folded them up to get at his behind. He started to rub through the rim and circled his opening. He massaged the sensitive nerves in quick circles. Sherlock’s breath hitched but he kept looking up at John out of trustful eyes.  
“You OK?” John asked roughly and Sherlock nodded.  
“Yes …” John kissed and licked over the inside of his thighs to make him relax and it worked. Soon enough he had his forefinger into him and touched his tender inside. Sherlock groaned and bit into his lip.  
“Oh …” John touched digit at once and pressed and rubbed. He added another finger and started to slowly fuck him. Sherlock held on to the sheets and his head lolled over the pillow.  
“Is this good for you?” John asked.  
“God, yes! Don’t stop! It’s wonderful! Go faster! Please?” John grinned and sped up. At the same time his free hand touched his nipple and pinched it rather hard. Sherlock bucked up and yelled.  
John used three fingers and kept fucking him, he also kept teasing his nipple and finally he stuck his tongue into is belly-button again. It was definitely over-kill because Sherlock almost levitated off his bed screaming the house down. John had a great time while holding him down.  
After what felt like hours of teasing John finally lined up between Sherlock’s legs. He pulled one over his good shoulder and locked eyes with him. Then he pushed into him. Sherlock tensed a bit because it must hurt him but the moment John’s thick head rubbed over his nub the pain was forgotten.  
He started the screaming again and tore apart his sheets. His arms came up and he held John tight. John was surprised how strong Sherlock was. He would be bruised.  
Sherlock’s ankle was pressed into his back and he moved with him. Suddenly their hands entwined and John was so close.  
“Joohnnnnn ….” It was a rough sound, sort of his name, and it made John come. He experienced the most wonderful orgasm in his life and while he came Sherlock clenched and came, too. The clenching made him hard again and he continued to push into him. They made it a second time and Sherlock almost threw John off his body.  
Afterwards Sherlock reached out for John with shaking hands.  
“I thought I’d die … This was amazing. We have to do it again. Soon.” John got on his side to face him.  
“I am not that young anymore. Soon will be later. But it was amazing. You were amazing.” He smiled and Sherlock smiled back.  
“I am leaking out of my back. It’s disgusting.” John quietly laughed and reached between his legs to move the cum over his skin.  
“No, it’s sexy. You are sexy.” Sherlock looked utterly surprised.  
“You make me feel so good …” He roughly whispered. His emotions were too strong again and he almost angrily wiped away a tear. But John only smiled.  
“So, do you. I feel alive. You saved my life, Sherlock. And right now, you gave me everything I ever wanted.” John poked into his belly-button again making Sherlock giggle.  
“If you tie me up, I can’t give you anything.” John looked up.  
“No, that’s wrong. You will give me your trust.” Sherlock smiled and so did John.  
“I can’t wait. But I know I want too much too soon.” He sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. John outright laughed.  
“Don’t wish for too much, honey.” Sherlock looked at John again licking his lips.  
“May I pick something out of your box for the first time?” He asked and surprised John. This was new.  
“Yes, sure. I am looking forward to it. I’d like to see what you want. I am excited already.” He moved his palm over Sherlock’s chest and stomach and felt his muscles twitch and tense beneath is palm.  
“I am sure you have your very own fantasies about what you will be doing to me.” Sherlock said.  
“Oh God, yes.” John chuckled scratching over his inner thighs.  
“Tell me?” Sherlock asked.  
“OK. I know you like experiments. I will perform an experiment. A deprivation experiment.”  
“Meaning?” Sherlock had come up on his elbows.  
“You will be tied up, gagged and blindfolded. Plugs will be in your ears and mint will be under your nose. You won’t see, hear, speak, smell or touch anything.”  
“But you will be there with me all the time?” He asked softly and John crawled up and kissed him.  
“I won’t ever leave you during a scene. Never.” Sherlock nodded and looked interested already.  
“How will you tie me up?”  
“Only with ropes.” Sherlock kissed him on his nose and then fell back again.  
“Can’t wait!” He sighed and rolled on his front. John stared at his white cheeks and crept closer. He pecked some kisses on them and Sherlock wiggled them into his face. John dared and stuck his tongue into his rim. Sherlock tensed and John let go.  
“No, go on. I want to experience.”  
“If you are having a non-good feeling, act after it.” John stroked over his bum and Sherlock sighed.  
“OK, perhaps later.” John gently bit into his hip and let go. Instead he rolled out of bed.  
“Where are you going?” Sherlock sounded shocked.  
“Loo. I also want some wine. You, too?” Sherlock nodded.  
“Yes! And nosh, too! Please?” John disappeared and soon returned with the bottle, two glasses and a bowl with nosh. Sherlock sat up and lifted up the duvet for him again. Then he took his glass and John filled it.  
“Cheers, love!” John said.  
“Cheers, sex-god!” Sherlock said and surprised John again. He chuckled.  
“I haven’t been called that before.”  
“What have you been called?” Sherlock at once wanted to know sipping his wine.  
“Once I was called “Three-Continents-Watson”.” Sherlock tilted his head.  
“Huh.” Both men drank more wine.  
“And what else?” Sherlock insisted.  
“Bitch, slut, sucker, fucker, lately sex-god …” John grinned while Sherlock blushed a bit.  
“I like you calling me honey and love.” He wouldn’t look at him though.  
“And I like calling you that. Because you are.”  
“I am exhausted.” Sherlock finally admitted. John took his empty glass and pecked a kiss on his nose.  
“Use the loo and come back to bed then.” Sherlock yawned and slumped away. John looked at his behind. He was completely covered in crusted cum. He grinned and stretched his body. He listened to Sherlock rummage in the bath followed by his steps into the living-room. He returned with his mobile and set the alarm.  
“I thought you had to leave in the afternoon or only evening?” John said.  
“That’s right. But I don’t want to sleep too long and waist precious time.” Then he moved closer and expectantly looked at John who understood perfectly well what he wanted. He reached out and pulled him close against his compact body. Sherlock sighed and closed his eyes. At once he slept. It surprised John. Normally he needed much longer to fall asleep.  
John looked at him for a bit. With his face relaxed like this he looked many years younger. John liked that look and smiled. Gently he kissed him on top of his head and only then closed his eyes, too.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock does his brother's legwork and meets an old friend. Well, what you call friend.

The next day John several times made love to Sherlock. When it was time for him to finally leave, he swayed through the flat and looked very well-shagged. John lovingly looked at him.  
“I almost made it; you know?” He said helping Sherlock to pack his bag.  
“Made what?” He asked ruffling his hair.  
“Shag you senseless.” Sherlock raised a brow.  
“No, John. Not almost. You did shag me senseless. Just look at me! I am a wreck!”  
“Sleep for a while during your trip. Call me if you can. Be back soon. Don’t get shot at!” They kissed for some minutes until the car downstairs honked impatiently. Only then Sherlock dashed downstairs waving good-bye.  
John sighed and started to clean the flat. He washed their sheets and went through all his toys thinking about what he would be doing to Sherlock when he was back.  
***  
It was Anthea in the car who just raised her brow and then quickly rode off to the airport where Sherlock entered a private plane provided by the British government. He fell asleep the moment he had buckled up and woke when touching down. He looked out of the window and saw the ghastly landscape of Bulgaria’s countryside.  
He sighed and thought of John. Warmth flew through his body and he already missed him. But now he had to concentrate on doing Mycroft’s legwork.  
He left the plane and entered the car that was waiting for him. He was driven to the hotel which was rather nice. He threw his bag into the room and at once called his contact. They agreed to meet there right away.  
Sherlock waited in the shaggy bar for him. The man who came up to him was a killer, Sherlock could see it. He didn’t like him at all. But he had no choice but to deal with him. He wished that John could be with him. The man eyed him like some candy on his night-stand and Sherlock put some distance between them. His typical mask came up and the man got it. He mainly wanted the money Mycroft regularly provided. He also was afraid of him.  
“So, what can you tell me about our man?” The guy cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder.  
“He wasn’t careful. He went everywhere and asked around. Like a fool. He got killed by the Russians. They took his papers and everything else, too.” He spoke with a heavy accent.  
“Any idea where I can find those Russians?” The man swallowed but didn’t speak. Sherlock straightened up.  
“So?” He stared him down.  
“Yes.” He wrote down an address and described the way for Sherlock.  
“What kind of place is this?”  
“It’s the villa where their boss lives. It’s a palace.” He looked scared. Sherlock wondered if he needed to take a weapon. He thought about John and decided he did.  
“Can you get me a gun?” Now he was on safe terrain and nodded at once.  
“Sure. In my car. Just come along now and I show you some.” Sherlock donned his coat and followed him outside. He picked a gun similar to John’s. He knew how to use it. He also got ammo and gave the man some money. He quickly rode away and would probably leave town.  
Sherlock arranged a driver and left the car two streets beforehand. Slowly he walked down the pavement and looked at the building being fenced in by high thick metal bars. He saw several men guarding the lawn, the gate and the villa itself. He chewed on his lip and wondered how to get in.  
Suddenly a car rode slowly down and the gate was opened. Sherlock tried to look into the car and almost choked on his spit. He knew that woman. It was her, Irene Adler, also known as “The Woman”. Right then she looked outside, too, and the car stopped with a sudden halt.  
“Fuck …” Sherlock thought when she opened the window.  
“Sherlock, dear. What a kind surprise! Come on in and join me!” Sherlock chewed on his lips. The driver already looked him up and down. He had no choice. He never would be quick enough to run away. So, he internally shrugged and opened the door. He sat by her side and looked at her.  
“Irene, it’s my pleasure.” He reached out for her hand and she let him. Politely he kissed her knuckle and let go.  
“You never called after Karachi, dear. I was disappointed.” Sherlock smiled remembering the beheading.  
“You left. You were safe. There was no reason to get big brother back at you.” She quietly laughed.  
“Yes, that’s right.” The car stopped in front of the villa and she seriously looked at him.  
“I know Bogdan intimately. He likes me. You are my business associate. Do as I say and nothing will happen to you.” Sherlock just nodded. He knew he could rely on her.  
“I am not interfering with your business, Irene. I will do what I have to just later.”  
“Leave your gun in the car.” Sherlock did that, too, and only then they left the car and entered the villa. The driver stayed in the car. Obviously, he didn’t belong to this household.  
Sherlock stayed two steps behind her. She led the way into a huge living-room where an older man already waited. He stood when they approached.  
“Irene! Finally! And who is that?” He circled Sherlock and looked greedily all over him. Sherlock almost felt sick but didn’t react.  
“He is with me. He still needs to experience a bit. So, if you don’t mind? I know, I should have called beforehand, Bogdan, but somehow I forgot and hope you won’t mind him watching?” Sherlock felt a shiver run down his spine. That hadn’t been his plan for the evening and night.  
“No, this only promises more fun!” Bogdan rubbed his hands and came closer. Sherlock looked at Irene with a bit of panic in his eyes. She could see it very clearly. She stepped between them.  
“No, Bogdan. Not here and not like this. I am making the rules and you know it.” She fell into business mode and he stopped at once.  
“I am sorry, Mistress.” Now he even cast his eyes and Sherlock wondered if he could learn something and get some more out of this than Mycroft’s bloody secrets. He grinned behind their backs.  
Suddenly Irene looked over her shoulder and he hid behind his mask again. But she must have seen some weird expression on his face because she smirked.  
“Come on, my lovely. Let’s go upstairs.” Sherlock slowly sauntered after them. He felt rather safe with her.  
And during the following hours he watched some amazing manhandling. Bogdan was willing flesh and Sherlock had a lot to do to not come into his dress trousers and soil them. He was sweating though and felt hot. He memorised and stored everything into his mind palace to talk to John about.  
Back in the car with Irene he slowly exhaled and looked at her.  
“How often do you do this?” She nonchalantly shrugged and not a hair on her head was in disarray nor were there any crinkles in her dress.  
“Every second day down here. People are wild for this. And I need some money since your brother didn’t give me any. Which is actually your fault, my lovely.” She smiled but rather fondly.  
“Yes, it is. You hurt me, a lot. But I saved your life. I took you out of Karachi. We are good, I think.” She reached out for him and took his hand stroking over his palm.  
“We are more than good, Sherlock.” She kept holding his hand and he liked it. He had always liked her, maybe a bit too much.  
“Come to my place.” She sort of ordered suddenly making him look up.  
“That’s probably not such a good idea.” Sherlock answered shaking his head.  
“I can give you something you were looking for the whole time. And I am not talking about the sex here.” She opened her handbag a little bit and Sherlock saw some papers stuck in there. He was surprised, he had to admit it.  
“How on earth did you do that? And when? I have been there all the time!” She laughed out loud.  
“You might have been there but only with your body, not with your mind.” Sherlock had to admit that she was right.  
“OK, I am coming. But no touching.” She looked at him and tilted his head.  
“There was a time you would have liked to be touched by me; I believe.” Now Sherlock smiled.  
“Yes, I agree. But that time is gone. I am with John.” She quietly laughed.  
“Oh, what a bloody surprise! It took you enough time, didn’t it?” But she kept laughing and Sherlock had to laugh, too.  
***  
They just drank some wine and Sherlock got the papers from Irene. She seriously looked at him.  
“You owe me, dear.” Sherlock smiled.  
“Always, Irene.” She came up close and pecked a kiss on his lips. And he let her feeling suddenly very hot again.  
“I hope you have gained something from tonight.” Now she grinned and Sherlock cast his eyes. He had to clear his throat.  
“I memorised a lot. Thank you.” He took her hand and gently pressed it. Then he left with her driver who brought him back into his hotel. He used his laptop to send an email to Mycroft to arrange for the jet. He didn’t write to John because he wanted to surprise him.  
He wasn’t able to sleep and just waited for the driver to take him back to the airport. Mycroft had done the happy dance when reading his email and had answered at once. Sherlock would tell him later that it was more Irene’s work than his own.  
He packed his bag and was driven to the airport before noon. He slept for a few hours on the plane. He didn’t want to eat or drink, he just wanted to go home to see John.  
Back in London he was driven back to Baker Street since his brother was really very thankful and spared him the cab. He stood at the curb and looked up to their windows. The curtains were closed and there was no light on. Perhaps John was at work? But Sherlock knew his schedule and today should be a day off.  
He sighed and entered the building. He climbed up the stairs and entered their flat. He sniffed. He knew John was in since he smelled breakfast and tea. But it was eerily silent. Where was John?  
Sherlock dropped the bag and shed his coat. He slowly walked into his bedroom. And there he was. John was in their bed and his nose was buried in one of Sherlock’s tees he wore when sleeping. Now John was sleeping. He was buried beneath the blanket and only his face was to be seen. Sherlock smiled and moved closer. Carefully he sat down by his side and gently touched his face. John didn’t react. Sherlock let him sleep.  
He quietly left the room and brewed tea. He sat on the sofa and used his laptop to talk to Mycroft. His brother was still extremely pleased with him and obviously Irene had been sneaky enough because he didn’t mention her at all. Sherlock decided to not tell him about her appearance.  
Sherlock had to drink three mugs of tea until John woke and came outside still holding Sherlock’s tee in his hand. He looked nicely dishevelled and stopped dead when seeing Sherlock. They looked at each other for several seconds until a fierce smile came up on John’s face. He ran up to him and threw his body on top of Sherlock’s.  
“You are home! When did you get home? Why didn’t you wake me?” He demanded to know during kisses. Sherlock slung his long arms around him and held on tight.  
“I obviously am. About two and a half hours ago. You seemed to need the rest. And you looked so cute cuddling my tee.” John swore not very nicely but then settled on Sherlock’s thighs with his legs dangling over them.  
“I missed you …” He leant against him and deeply inhaled.  
“I missed you more.” Suddenly John stilled and jumped to his feet.  
“What’s that?” He accusingly pointed at Sherlock’s neck.  
“What’s what?” His fingers came up and touched his collar.  
“It’s lipstick! Who did kiss you there?” Sherlock blushed but then he grinned. John was jealous.  
“Sit down and keep calm, John. It’s nothing.” John fisted his tee but after some seconds did sit down. Sherlock pulled him close again.  
“You won’t believe whom I met.” John grunted a reply against his chest.  
“Whom?”  
“Irene.” John stilled. He remembered Sherlock being drugged on the hardwood in Irene’s flat and how everybody, including Lestrade, had filmed it with their mobiles.  
“The woman? Why was she there?” Sherlock shrugged.  
“Pure coincidence. But she helped me. I was home earlier than expected thanks to her.”  
“Would you like me to text a thank-you-message?” John looked up out of dark-blue stormy eyes.  
“I bet she would like that.” Sherlock gently bit into John’s nose and made him shout.  
“Oi!” He rubbed his nose.  
“But why do you have her lipstick on your collar?” John already was pulling his shirt off his body.  
“Because she is a tease.” Sherlock answered shrugging out of his shirt.  
“I think she likes you. She wants you.” Sherlock looked thoughtful but didn’t reply.  
“But I only want you, John. Even back then I would have withstood even though I was tempted.” John grinned and kissed him. Soon Sherlock was melting into the sofa. He clung to John who had started to rut against him.  
“No, not here, not like this.” Sherlock murmured and tried to stand. John just pulled him up and dragged him into the bedroom. He pushed against his chest and Sherlock fell on his back on the bed. He looked up at John and smiled. His hands came up and he slowly pulled down his zip. John licked over his lips and watched.  
“She made me watch, that’s what she did.” Sherlock whispered staring up at John.  
“Watch what?” John asked roughly and undressed, too.  
“Her client was the one I had to see about something. We met outside and she took me with her introducing me as some sort of apprentice. I watched everything she did to him. You know her, John. You know what she does. But I could only think of you doing these things to me. Only you.” Now he reached out for him and John lowered his body and took his hands.  
“Tell me very detailed what she did.” He roughly whispered. Sherlock entwined their fingers and looked up at him. Then he told everything. Right when he was done John came all over him.  
Sherlock’s face was covered in cum and he looked utterly surprised. But then he licked his lips and grinned.  
“Well done, my brave soldier!” John just looked at him and suddenly grabbed him by his hips and threw him on his front. Sherlock shrieked and right away John held his wrists together and reached into the nightstand to retrieve a rope. Soon his wrists were tied and he was on his knees. He moaned into the sheets.  
“Naughty!” John chided and once slapped him on his behind. Sherlock twitched and yelped once.  
“I think I have to freshen up your education a little. What do you think?” Sherlock just hummed and wiggled his arse.  
“I thought so.” John moved up and put his cock between his cheeks. He started to rim him and became hard very quickly. Sherlock was hard, too. He also was very sweaty. John pulled him up by his bound wrists and reached around him teasing his nipples and his prick. His head fell back against John’s body and his eyes were closed.  
“I missed you so much …” Sherlock roughly whispered.  
“I missed you, too.” John answered quietly.  
“I am sorry I wasn’t able to tell you about my mission.” John kissed his back.  
“Don’t worry. I understand. It’s all fine. We are good, love.” Sherlock sighed and relaxed.  
“Please, John? Take me now …” John’s grip became tight and he pushed into Sherlock’s willing body without any preparation. Sherlock shouted out once but started to move right away. John kept pushing into him in a wild rhythm and fucked him roughly. Sherlock’s head bumped against the headrest and he groaned. John held his dick so he wasn’t able to come. He clenched around John willing him to come inside him but it only made him move faster and harder. Suddenly Sherlock tensed.  
“John!!!” He yelled. John got surprised and let go when his body twitched beneath him. Sherlock came wildly and his clenching muscles forced John to come, too. John fell forward and on top of Sherlock. Both men were panting loudly and John still stuck inside Sherlock. He rested on top of him like on a pillow.  
“Ow …” Sherlock suddenly groaned and John got up at once. He looked at his bound wrists. They were chafed open and a bit bloody.  
“Fuck!” John swore and cut off the rope at once. Sherlock’s arms fell to the side but he moved no more.  
“Stay, honey. I’ll take care of that.” He quickly got out of bed and also out of Sherlock which made him groan again.  
“Sorry, love …” John whispered and hurried into the bath. He came back with his med-kit, a bowl with warm water and a wash-cloth. At first, he cleaned his behind and gently moved him on his back. Then he took care of his wrists, cleaned and disinfected them. Sherlock hissed but John held on.  
“I am so sorry, dear. I didn’t see. For once I didn’t watch over you. Please forgive me?” Sherlock looked up at him and smiled.  
“Don’t you worry, John. I was wild and didn’t think. You did shag me senseless. Again. It’s only transport after all.”  
“Please don’t say that, Sherlock. Your transport is very important.”  
“I will survive.” Sherlock smiled and tried to touch John. But he stood and carried the used things away. Sherlock was worried and followed him. He caught up with him in the kitchen.  
“John, please. Don’t be upset.” John chewed his lips.  
“I don’t want you to hurt. It is supposed to be fun.” He stared into his mug.  
“But I had fun. Loads of.” Sherlock tried to assure him.  
“I am supposed to watch you.” Now he poured milk into the tea.  
“I didn’t safeword.” Sherlock stated and John sighed.  
“No, you didn’t. But anyway, I should have seen.” He looked up and he looked sad. Sherlock quickly moved around the counter and pulled him close.  
“It’s just a bit of chafed off skin. You have done well with your after-care. My hands are still attached to my arms and I am not badly injured. My precious transport isn’t harmed. Please stop worrying!” He took John’s face between his hands and tilted his head up. Then he kissed him very tenderly. John relaxed rather quickly and closed his eyes.  
He wondered how Sherlock always knew when he needed to be coddled. Probably he was too obvious.  
Sherlock held John for quite a while until he shoved him off again. He looked at him down over his nose.  
“For once I am really hungry. Take-away?” But John shook his head.  
“No, love. I went to Tesco this morning. I will cook if you don’t mind waiting?” Sherlock shook his head.  
“No, not at all. I love your cooking.” He turned away and sat down on the sofa with John’s cup of tea. John sighed but started the chopping and cooking. He listened to Sherlock typing on his laptop; probably his report to Mycroft.  
John also prepared a dessert with chocolate. The smell lured Sherlock back and he tried to get at the spoon to lick it clean. John looked at him with his brows up. Sherlock grinned.  
“I could lick something else? I could put chocolate on several body-parts?” He smacked his lips and John suddenly felt rather hot.  
“Later. First dinner. Please set up the table, honey.” Sherlock heavily sighed but did as being told. When he was done, he got them a bottle of wine and found the glasses, too. Sherlock ate everything John set before him. He hadn’t eaten a lot when he was away. He had been busy doing other things and John knew it.  
After dinner they sat on the sofa and John pulled Sherlock on his lap.  
“Now tell me what you gathered when Irene was doing her client. How did he react to her? And what did you learn from it? I need to know what you liked.” Sherlock looked at him and cleared his throat.  
“Well, I did mainly watch the man’s behaviour. I watched how he acted and reacted to her orders. I watched what she wanted. Of course, I also checked her out.” Sherlock chewed his lips.  
“And?” Not more came from John.  
“She is very different from you. She is rough compared to you. You are always gentle with me. Even when you are play-punishing me, you are somehow gentle. I don’t know how to describe it.” He helplessly shrugged.  
“But what did she do? I mean in detail.” John insisted and Sherlock started to tense and pressed his face against John’s body.  
“She forced him to suck her toes. She pressed hers into his mouth so his skin tore. She kicked him and beat him up with her heels. She tied him to the bed and sat on his face pressing her cunt over his mouth and nose. I heard him slurp and lick.”  
John felt his shudder and had to smile.  
“Please don’t laugh at me …” Sherlock whispered and John stopped at once.  
“I am sorry, love. I would never do such things to you. I mean, I love to play, and you know it; but differently. You and me are different because I love you and you love me. Irene only has her clients. Even though I believe she would treat you in a different way.”  
“Why do you think that?” Sherlock spoke into his jumper.  
“I think she likes you. I think maybe she likes you a bit too much.” Sherlock looked up again.  
“But she only loves women. She said so.” John’s expression darkened a bit.  
“I do remember her saying so. I also remember your reaction.” Sherlock tensed.  
“I was confused. But …” His fingers curled into John’s jumper.  
“But?” John quietly asked.  
“But I liked her a lot. I still do somehow. But not like you.” He only whispered.  
“I am glad to hear that.” John sounded a bit off. Sherlock let go of him and sat up. He looked into his eyes.  
“You are not pleased.” John reached for his wine.  
“I am bloody jealous. I love you.” He almost looked desperate when saying so but it made Sherlock happy.  
“And I love you. Only you. I can still like her though. You like other people, too. For instance, you like Greg.” Now John blushed a little bit and it made Sherlock raise his brow.  
“Hm, I …” John had to clear his throat. Sherlock moved up very close and looked into his face from down below. And he was smirking.  
“Are you hiding something from me, my love?” He asked.  
“I admit I like Greg. He is a nice guy and a good-looking man.”  
“Did you try and ask him out?” Sherlock asked curiously but John shook his head.  
“No, I didn’t.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I always wanted only you, Sherlock.” Sherlock stared at him for a few seconds but then grabbed him by his shoulders and snogged his face off.


End file.
